Tag Archives: fatherhood
Last Tuesday, I was working at the polls, and I met a young father who had his son in tow. I remember doing the same thing when my children were little. This father believed that voting was important, and he wanted his son to understand that and to see him taking part in the electoral process. We talked for several minutes, and he said he had to get back to work. He was a restaurant manager, and he wanted to see if anyone who wanted to vote had done so prior to the polls closing. I commented on how great it is for organizations to recognize the importance of voting and give their employees time to exercise this precious right. He laughed and said, “It’s not a corporate policy. It’s mine.” He said he really didn’t have the authority to do things like that, but he felt it was important enough to bend the rules. His rationale made sense to me. All of his employees live within a few miles of the restaurant, and he asked them to vote before or after the lunch /dinner rushes. This act of civic engagement cost him almost nothing, but it meant a lot to his employees.
“It’s not supposed to be fun. That’s why they call it work.” That was my father’s attempt at humor whenever I complained about chores around the house. I know he was only kidding, but for many people, this is how they truly feel. It’s work, so it is supposed to be hard and unpleasant. The idea that work could be fun is almost counter-cultural. Several years ago, in spite of what my father said, I came to the realization that work not only can be fun, it should be. That doesn’t mean that we will always love every aspect of our work, but I believe we are doing ourselves a real disservice if we don’t strive to find employment that is fulfilling and enjoyable. This new way of looking at work was a primary driver behind my decision to leave the relative security of my corporate life for the uncertainty of entrepreneurship.
I spend much of my time speaking and writing about the role that choice plays in our ability to reach our leadership potential. I often tell my clients that true leadership starts with choosing to become a leader. As with all rules, there are always exceptions. There will always be leadership roles that are thrust upon us. For me, that was the case with fatherhood. When my wife and I chose to become parents, we considered many things, but we never thought about the leadership implications. During the past fifteen and a half years, I have learned that being a father is the most important leadership role I will ever play. Even though I didn’t choose to lead when I chose to become a father, I have chosen how to grow into this vital role, and I hope fathers everywhere will do the same.
A one year ago today, the world lost a special person, Moe Moran. He was one of best people I’ve ever known, and he taught me much about life and leadership. He was my father and my friend, and I had the privilege to offer our family’s tribute at his funeral. Since then, many of people asked me to send them a copy of my remarks, and others have encouraged me to post them here. I hope learning a bit about this great, yet unsung leader will help you become a better one yourself. Thank you for indulging me in a tribute to someone I love.
Testimonials
Ph.D., Director, Gilliam Center for Free Enterprise and Ethical Leadership and Professor, Management Department, College of Business, James Madison University
Ph.D., Director, Gilliam Center for Free Enterprise and Ethical Leadership and Professor, Management Department, College of Business, James Madison University
President, AAISP – DC
P.Eng., President ACT Canada
President, Arneson Leadership Consulting
(Steve was named one of the country's Top 100 thought leaders on leadership in 2008, 2009 and 2010, and one of the Top 25 leadership coaches in America for 2008, 2009 and 2010 by Leadership Excellence magazine. )
Former Governor and Senator, Commonwealth of Virginia
EVP and CFO, Intersections, Inc.
(USN ret.), former POW
President, Financial Services, Capital One
CEO, Korea Exchange Bank
formerly management columnist at the FT, now Visiting Professor at the Cass Business School, London, and director of strategy at Edelman in the UK
former Commanding Officer, USS Dwight D. Eisenhower, CVN-69, and recipient of the John Paul Jones 'Inspirational Leadership Award' from the Navy League of the US.
Professor Emeritus, Darden Graduate School of Business, University of Virginia
Co-author Anytime Coaching: Unleashing Employee Performance Adjunct Professor, Johns Hopkins Carey Graduate School of Business
Bishop Emeritus of Richmond
Professor Emeritus, Darden Graduate School of Business, University of Virginia.
Head Coach, Butler University Men’s Basketball Team
Managing Director, Merrill Lynch Wealth Management
Author of Be Your Own Coach, and On Becoming a Leadership Coach, and creator of the Georgetown University Leadership Coaching Program