Tag Archives: self-awareness
Nearly 30 years ago, I was walking with my father. I was absolutely fuming. My wife and I had had an argument, and I was ranting – full of righteous indignation. After letting me go on for longer than most would have tolerated my carping, my father stopped and turned to me to ask two questions. First: “Are you through?” When I responded in the affirmative, he asked, “Why does this matter to you?” I remember thinking, “Haven’t you been paying attention?” Instead, I simply said, “I’m right,” and so, by extension, I believed she was wrong. Again, my father demonstrated the patience that I loved in him. He replied that, even if I was right, why did the issue we were fighting about matter. He encouraged me not to answer the question. “Just think about it while we walk.” For the next few blocks, I stewed on the question. I will admit that, for the first block or so, my righteous indignation won, but then something shifted. I started to think about the issue at the root of the initial argument. I have no recollection of what it was, but I do recall thinking that my father was on to something. The issue wasn’t nearly as important as I had made it. I had allowed my ego to produce an emotion-driven response to a relatively minor disagreement. No – this is not an article about marital harmony. My father’s question works in any relationship where conflict or contention plays a role. For most people, our work is fraught with conflicts and disagreements, and many times these situations turn unproductive because we allow ourselves to get sucked into arguments that don’t matter. Don’t get me wrong, there are many things that are worth fighting for and about. My point is that we typically waste our energy on the wrong things. We fail to recognize what matters. There are so many layers to the question, “Why does this matter?” Some are obvious: Some are less obvious, but potentially more relevant in terms of our emotional response: These are just a few of the angles to consider when we begin digging into the original question. I do not believe anyone can or should run through a long list of questions to determine whether they should or should not take a stand when an issue emerges. Rather, I am advocating for a deliberate response versus an instinctive response. When we force ourselves to stop (or even slow down) to examine why something is bothering us and to discern why it matters, we take a critical step in derailing unhealthy and unproductive emotional responses. This slight pause gives us the opportunity to respond deliberately and powerfully. One situation may compel us to take an immediate and firm stance while another may lead us to ignore the issue, and others may elicit something in between these extremes. Imagine a colleague with whom you have a healthy and slightly competitive relationship takes an action that benefits him but puts one of your projects in jeopardy. You learn about this in a large meeting with some important stakeholders, including your boss and the sponsor of the impacted project. Early in my career, my instinctive response would have been to get angry and go on the attack, creating a contentious situation and forcing a rash decision to resolve the issue. Instead, when we ask, “Why does this matter?” we may recognize that the best course of action is to take the issue offline and resolve it privately, or we may decide that immediate and decisive action is required. This moment of discernment is where the deeper questions listed above may come into play. We assess the urgency and the importance of a situation and act accordingly. Depending on how we answer these questions, we may accept the short-term disappointment or frustration of our stakeholders to preserve an important relationship. Conversely, we may decide that the risk is too great to wait, so we may confront the issues immediately and directly. Regardless of the choice, the act of slowing down and responding deliberately increases the probability of achieving our desired outcome. Those who know me well are likely to see in my example that the practice of asking why something matters is more of an aspiration than a habit. I am still too quick to go on the offensive when I feel threatened or slighted. However, I have come to learn that often the only thing being threatened is my ego. Developing this awareness has allowed me to take a response that is rooted in my core values rather than defensive reflex.
Chancellor Angela Merkel is the first leader to make the list of the COVID ‘If–’ Sixteen leaders. For almost 15 years, she has led her country with a strong sense of who she is, remaining true to herself no matter what. Her self-awareness has enabled her to lead Germany through extraordinary challenges, including the 2008 Economic Crisis, the European Refugee Crisis, and now the COVID-19 Crisis. Character was the first leadership attribute I discussed in If You Will Lead: Enduring Wisdom for 21st-Century Leaders (Agate B2 2011), because character forms the foundation upon which all other leadership attributes are built. Leadership demands that we act in ways that are consistent and aligned with our beliefs and values. That is the essence of leading with character—knowing what we believe and value and then ensuring that our actions reflect those beliefs and values. Crises are the greatest leadership character tests, and Chancellor Merkel proved her character during the early days of the COVID-19 Crisis. While she continues to lead effectively, this article focuses on her actions and leadership during the pandemic’s early days. There are three aspects of Merkel’s character that seem most relevant: her commitment to liberty and freedom, her scientific mind, and her gender. The German culture is very conscious of recognizing and attributing titles in a way that often describe key aspects of one’s character. To many non-Germans, this behavior can seem awkward, especially when someone has numerous honorifics. In the case of Angela Merkel, she is Frau Chancellor Doctor Merkel. This may seem like an odd point, but I see all three honorifics as essential to Angela Merkel’s character and her leadership. Chancellor Merkel’s Commitment to Liberty and Freedom I’ll start with Chancellor, because, above all else, Angela Merkel is a politician. Merkel was quick to recognize that COVID-19 was an unprecedented threat. On March 18, she declared to the German people, “Since German unification, no, since World War II, there has been no greater challenge to our country that depends so much on us acting together in solidarity.” Merkel demonstrated clearly her commitment to the health and safety of her citizens, and she was willing to sacrifice other key values to protect her people. To do so, the German government took steps that curtailed liberty and freedom. This was an extraordinary test of her character, because Merkel had experienced 35 years of repression under East German government during the Cold War. She had spent much of her political career defending freedom and liberty. This life-long commitment bolstered her credibility with the German people that a short-term sacrifice was a reasonable price to pay to contain the spread of COVID-19. Fiscal responsibility is another important aspect of Chancellor Merkel’s political character. She has spent most of her political career as a fervent believer in government frugality, and her leadership was a driving force behind the EU austerity measures following the 2008 Economic Crisis. Again, COVID-19 forced her to confront conflicting values, and she put safety above frugality. In light of the societal risks posed by COVID-19, Merkel has been a champion for the EU economic stimulus efforts. She recognized that the economic implications of the COVID-19 pandemic threatened to undermine European stability. She saw this instability as a threat to freedom, so she sacrificed her natural frugality and austerity to protect freedom. Doctor Merkel’s Scientific Mind Angela Merkel started her career as a scientist. She earned the title doctor when she received her Ph.D. in Quantum Chemistry. As a scientist, she learned to rely on data, critical thinking, and rational analysis to inform her decisions. This means asking hard questions to ensure that those we trust are worthy of our trust. It means knowing that what we want is not always consistent with what the data tell us. It means using the guidance of trusted experts to make hard and often unpopular decisions. When many leaders were dithering, Merkel engaged experts from organizations like the Robert Koch Institute and the Berlin’s Charité Hospital to inform her decisions and to help her create appropriate responses. Her trust in science and scientists enabled her to build the trust of the German people. Frau Merkel’s Feminine Leadership Merkel’s last honorific, Frau, has also played an important role in her leadership style. Merkel has never shied away from her gender. She has always embraced her political nickname “Mutti” (i.e., Mommy in English). There have been numerous articles highlighting the benefits of female leadership during the COVID-19 Crisis. Leadership traits like empathy, compassion, collaboration, and humility are often associated with femininity, and these same leadership traits seem to be producing positive results in the fight against COVID-19. Merkel has demonstrated these traits throughout her career, and she has continued to do so during the COVID-19 Crisis. There is much speculation about the role gender is playing in COVID-19 leadership. I will not add to this speculation, as this topic is far too complex to be addressed in this short piece. However, I will highlight some impressive anecdotal evidence supporting the case. Under Merkel’s leadership, Germany has seen much lower infection and death rates than France, the UK, Italy, and Spain – countries all led by men. Of the twenty-three nations led by women, only five have infection/death rates higher than the international mean. Some woman-led nations have seen exceptional results. New Zealand, Finland, Greece, Georgia, and Slovakia have had infection rates less than half of the global average (Source: WHO Coronavirus Dashboard). I believe these successes may reveal some important information about the benefits of feminine leadership, and I will discuss some of these strong female leaders in subsequent posts. Results of Leading with Character So how well did Angela Merkel’s leadership serve Germany in its efforts to confront the COVID-19 Crisis? Let’s start by looking at what those efforts entail. On March 22, Chancellor Merkel announced Germany’s plan for a “contact ban” that limited public gatherings to two people (outside families), required social distancing, and closed non-essential businesses. While the contact ban was not a lockdown, Merkel made a personal appeal to all Germans to act responsibly. She connected with the German people by speaking and acting in ways that demonstrated the true nature of her character. According to WHO data, Germany’s efforts and Merkel’s leadership paid off. By May 1, Germany was reporting approximately 1,600 cases per day – down from a peak in March of 6,800 cases per day. Based on these trends, the German government began a gradual easing of physical distancing measures. While the relaxation of physical distancing this summer led to an increase in new infections, Germany’s infection and death rates remain low. On September 23, the WHO reported daily new infections for the previous week of less than 1,800, indicating that Germany’s efforts and Merkel’s leadership continue to benefit Germany and its people. In comparison, during the same week, the much smaller nations of France, Spain, and the UK all saw significantly more daily new cases – approximately 10,000, 5,700, and 4,000, respectively. Angela Merkel knows who she is and what she values and believes. This allows her to trust herself to make hard decisions informed by those values and beliefs. This self-confidence enables her to build trust with those she leads. During her almost 15 years as Chancellor, she has demonstrated how strong leadership rooted in character can lead a nation through a crisis. While the COVID-19 Crisis is far from over, Angela Merkel is integrating all the pieces of her character to provide leadership and solutions that save lives. Who else has been leading with character? What other leaders have used their values and beliefs to inspire others to combat the pandemic? Who has risen to this challenge? Remember to think local and share stories we may not have heard.
“It’s not supposed to be fun. That’s why they call it work.” That was my father’s attempt at humor whenever I complained about chores around the house. I know he was only kidding, but for many people, this is how they truly feel. It’s work, so it is supposed to be hard and unpleasant. The idea that work could be fun is almost counter-cultural. Several years ago, in spite of what my father said, I came to the realization that work not only can be fun, it should be. That doesn’t mean that we will always love every aspect of our work, but I believe we are doing ourselves a real disservice if we don’t strive to find employment that is fulfilling and enjoyable. This new way of looking at work was a primary driver behind my decision to leave the relative security of my corporate life for the uncertainty of entrepreneurship.
This past Sunday our priest, Father Mike Renninger, told the story of a friend of his who went to the mall to buy a specific Christmas gift. Somewhere between her home and the mall she forgot what she had gone to buy. Rather than turn around and go home, she decided to walk around the mall until she recalled what she needed to buy. Two hours and several hundred dollars later, she left the mall without the intended purchase.
One of the things I’ve always loved about science is that at its heart, it is about the search for truth. But lately, it has felt like science has become corrupted. From the politicization of global warming to researchers faking data to support their conclusions or theories, I was beginning to wonder if science had become just like so many other fields where success and celebrity were more important than the truth.