Several months ago, one of my executive leadership coaching clients started our session by venting his frustration about the state of politics in America. It is easy to share his frustration. As a resident of one of the “battleground” states in the upcoming election, I am overwhelmed by the volume of commercials and deeply disturbed by their universal lack of civility. Although I shared his feelings in general, I found myself surprised by the overarching conclusion he had drawn about the problem’s root cause. He stated emphatically, “The problem is principles!” When I asked him to elaborate, he said that he felt that in the name of principled leadership, politicians have become rigid and inflexible. “They are unwilling to cooperate, collaborate, or compromise.”
“Some people really stepped up.” That’s what a friend of mine said when I asked him how things went when he returned to work after a month of medical leave. The look on his face and the tone of his voice said the rest, “. . . and some people didn’t.” It is a common theme of discussion in my executive leadership coaching practice. I hear it from most leaders I talk with. Some people step up, and some people do not. It is often surprising who does and who doesn’t. We are thrilled by the unexpected leadership shown by those who rise to the occasion, and we can be so disappointed by people who fail to meet our expectations. The former can be gratifying, but the latter can shake our confidence as leaders.
“Words Matter.” Those words were scrawled across the commentary section my local paper, The Richmond Times-Dispatch. This article was about the tendency of government entities to use confusing language and the danger this tendency carries. While I appreciated the article, the headline got me thinking about other language-related problems. Language is particularly important in the field of executive leadership. In my coaching practice, many of the biggest challenges my clients face stem from imprecise language, yet most of us rarely think about the words we use.
“It’s not supposed to be fun. That’s why they call it work.” That was my father’s attempt at humor whenever I complained about chores around the house. I know he was only kidding, but for many people, this is how they truly feel. It’s work, so it is supposed to be hard and unpleasant. The idea that work could be fun is almost counter-cultural. Several years ago, in spite of what my father said, I came to the realization that work not only can be fun, it should be. That doesn’t mean that we will always love every aspect of our work, but I believe we are doing ourselves a real disservice if we don’t strive to find employment that is fulfilling and enjoyable. This new way of looking at work was a primary driver behind my decision to leave the relative security of my corporate life for the uncertainty of entrepreneurship.
In my last post I wrote about the importance of knowing when to break the rules and the leadership it takes to help others do so. Today, I want to focus on how our actions (or inaction) can lead others to behave inappropriately. Without knowing or intending to, our actions may lead people astray. Our behaviors may give people the impression that the rules do not apply to them. Our actions may even make them believe that they have our tacit approval to break rules or even break laws. Our failure to react to one misdeed may give them the impression that we will ignore others. As leaders, we must recognize that our behaviors and choices send messages for others to interpret, and if we are not careful, they may lead to disaster or tragedy.