In any given day, how many different people are we? When that nagging issue at work jars us from our sleep and we roll out of bed, many of us jump right into problem solver mode. I often spend the first few minutes of my morning contemplating the problems and opportunities of the day ahead. As I descend the stairs, I move quickly into dad mode – helping to get the kids ready for the day ahead. For a few minutes, I step into husband mode as my wife and I discuss the matters facing the Moran household. That’s three different people, and I haven’t even started work.
As a consultant and executive coach, I divide my time among several differing tasks. Marketing and sales consume a big part of my day, as do client meetings and research. I also spend a significant portion of each week writing and speaking. Each of these roles requires a different combination of skills and talents. They each require me to emphasize different aspects of my personality. They may even require me to emphasize and project my values in different ways. For example, when I am writing, I am articulating my opinions and beliefs. I take strong positions. As a coach, my job is to help my clients find the answers to their unique problems and challenges, so I mostly ask questions. As a writer or consultant, I provide answers.
Which one is the real me? The answer is all of them. Each of us is one person who plays a myriad of roles. These roles can cause our behaviors to change from one moment to the next. These changes can be confusing to those around us, and they can give the impression that we are being inauthentic. I believe that recognizing that we are such complex and dynamic creatures is the key to living and leading authentically. Authenticity demands that we move from role to role consciously and that we change our behaviors deliberately. One of the most challenging things we do is remaining aware and deliberate, but this is what keeps us from losing our way and becoming inauthentic.