In any given day, how many different people are we? When that nagging issue at work jars us from our sleep and we roll out of bed, many of us jump right into problem solver mode. I often spend the first few minutes of my morning contemplating the problems and opportunities of the day ahead. As I descend the stairs, I move quickly into dad mode – helping to get the kids ready for the day ahead. For a few minutes, I step into husband mode as my wife and I discuss the matters facing the Moran household. That’s three different people, and I haven’t even started work.
For the third time in a row, I am writing about the connection between leading and teaching. Maybe it is the time of year, with another school year ending. Whatever the cause, I continue to find great leadership lessons from the teachers in my children’s lives. This time the lesson came during a cross-country horseback riding clinic my daughter, Mary Kate, was participating in. To provide some context, Mary Kate rides a horse named Blackberry. Blackberry is mischievous and a bit nuts. He’s a wonderful horse, but if he were a was a high school boy he would probably spend a fair amount of time in detention. He has developed a reputation for his bad behavior. His owner refers to his antics as “B.B.B.B.ing” (i.e., Blackberry breaking bad big time). Around the barn, they call him Crackberry.
We all know that as leaders we have a responsibility to help those we lead develop and grow. More often than not, our lessons just happen. We may have no idea that we are teaching something until the new behavior manifests itself. Last week, I had the pleasure of seeing this in action at my son’s guitar recital. His instructor primarily teaches piano, so when she arrived at the venue to find a strategic piano key broken, she was quite upset. Her students range from the very young performing for the first time to high school students ready to study music at the university level. She was uncertain whether they would be able to have the recital.
“Those who can, do. Those who can’t do, teach.” I have always hated that expression. It belittles one of the most noble professions anyone could choose. However, I have recently come to see that there is a kernel of truth buried within it. That truth isn’t that teachers are unable to do things. Rather, it is that teaching requires an objectivity and perspective that is difficult, if not impossible, to achieve while we are consumed with doing that thing.
There is one piece of advice I give to all of my clients – “Ask for help.” People want to help us solve the challenges that we face. Our friends and family do it because they care about us, and they want to see us succeed. Some people want to help us for less noble reasons. It may make them feel good about themselves. They may believe that helping us will make us more willing to help them when they need it. Regardless of the motivation, there are people willing to help if only we ask.

